7 Stages of Grief...No, Let's Go With 5!

I told my hubby the other day I wanted to write something in my blog to help me with my grief. (obviously, if you read this blog, you can see I have)

Before I wrote anything though, I wanted to be a true writer and do my diligent research. I told  my hubby that I wanted to write something about the stages of grief, because at the moment, it felt like all of the stages were crashing in on me at the same time!

I headed toward my faithful laptop to do my research. I searched for "stages of grief". Among the results were numerous listings. Some of them claimed there were five stages of grief while another one claimed seven.

Seven??? You mean, I have to go through more of this mess??? Give me the website that only has five!

It brought a small chuckle to me, thinking I could dictate my grief. I wish I could.

I wish I could tell my grief to only hit me when I am by myself. I wish I could tell my grief to only hit me at the end of the day, when it doesn't matter if I can't finish what I'm doing.

 And which website shows you how to really actually believe your mother is dead? I know she is. I was there at the funeral. But I keep forgetting she's gone. When it hits me she is, it hits pretty hard. I don't break down into tears, but it still hurts when it hits me.

After my mother's burial, a very generous aunt of mine offered to pay for everyone's lunch at a BBQ place. (if you're not aware of the size of my extended family, you have no clue just how generous that was!) Anyway, she stayed at the end of the line to pay for everyone. By the time she and I got to the dining room, the place was filled. I immediately did a head count of my younger children. The thought flashed through my mind to see if some of them were with my mom.

Mom's gone, remember?

That hit me hard. When would I stop looking for her? When would I stop trying to send her pictures of her grandkids with my phone?

Whether it be five or seven, I am grateful God allows for a time to grieve. Sometimes we want to gloss over it. It makes us uncomfortable. Vulnerable. However, God deemed it important for us to grieve, so much so that He writes of it in His Word.

We can't rush through it. We just have to go through it, knowing He is there. He's been there the whole time.