How do we measure if we are a good mom for our kids? Simple, we ask God to examine our hearts and show us where we need to improve as mothers.
Simple...but I confess it isn't/wasn't usually the first thing I do. What's the first thing we usually do? We compare ourselves to other women.
- She always has it so together.
- Her house is always spotless.
- Her kids are so smart.
So what's wrong with comparing ourselves to others? Because that is not how God works. He doesn't compare us to others. He holds us accountable for only how each one of us is obedient to Him.
However, there seems to be this trend in our culture that our worth is measured by how much we can handle or endure. So if I have more stress in my life that must mean I am doing more important things than others are. And because I can handle all this stress, bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan...I am Wonder Woman. But...that makes it all about me.
There is now a t-shirt that men can get that says their wife is Wonder Woman. While I truly appreciate these men supporting their wives and being proud of them, I think we better be careful. That's more pressure to be this perfect woman who can handle any challenge in her own strength.
And I say this because I used to have the Wonder Woman syndrome. I wanted to people to admire just how much I could handle. Why? Oh, because that determined my worth as a mother and wife.
I recently watched the movie Mom's Night Out which was very entertaining and I enjoyed it. But it started me to think about why this woman would feel so stressed. And what does "stressed" really mean? We use it fairly often and casually in our culture.
Here is what a dictionary said the word means:
a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstancesEw. That is not what I want for my life. I hope it isn't what you want for yours. If we examine our lives, we will find a lot of the "stress" in our lives are of our own making. For example, in that movie, many of the things that were stressing her out were only there because she wasn't discipling her kids. Granted, the behavior shown was over-the-top for comedic effect, but I know I have created stress by not being a consistent parent with my kids. Surely God doesn't want our lives to be consumed by stress.
Here is what God says He wants for us:
"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."John 14:27
Much better, right?
Of course, we do have demanding circumstances in our lives. We are in a sin-cursed world. God does allow us to experience hard times. Contrary to a popular saying that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, He actually does. Because He wants you to come to Him and let Him handle it for you. For Him to be glorified from the experience.
"Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you."
1 Peter 5:7
If I have this goal to be a Wonder Woman wife and mom, where does God fit in? When does He get the credit He deserves for giving me the ability to be the wife/mom that I am? Or for the fact that He carried me through the challenges I have faced?
My life should be pointing people to Him. Trying to be Wonder Woman only points back at me.